SIEI: Hello World, or: How To Have An Existential Crisis

Transcript:

I'm Tony Remis, and this is Tony Talks Back.

What is consciousness? What is this experience I'm having of being myself, recording audio and sipping scotch whisky? Why are you aware of yourself listening to my voice right now?

It's kind of spooky, isn't it? What are you, some kind of little person inside your own head looking out at the world? That you or I are experiencing the world at all is inexplicable when you start to examine what exactly that experience is. Why, for example, couldn't we live out our lives as happy little creatures completely lacking in subjective experience? Is there a deeper meaning to consciousness, and life in general?

Questions like these keep me up at night, and they persist because no one knows the answer to them. No doctor, philosopher, psychologist or priest knows what consciousness is, though many people much smarter than I have spent their entire lives banging their heads against this problem. I'm tired of the unknowns. I want answers so, so badly. I hope to with this podcast engage everyone listening to bring new perspectives to the philosophical table. And, because this is "Tony Talks Back", above all I want your input. Please, reach out to the show and tell me what's on your mind. Show me what I'm getting wrong, and if you're feeling nice maybe mention what I'm getting right.

Because make no mistake, I don't know anything. I don't claim any hidden sort of truth as like a guru. I was fortunate to have excellent teachers and guidance in my search for wisdom, and I believe anyone can reach the point I'm at with my thoughts given direction. So, to lead you, dear listener, to my thinking-in-circles rabbit hole, I'll retrace my steps, so to speak. First, let me briefly explain who I am and where I come from. I am a graduate of the University of Wisconsin. My bachelor's degree is in the fields of psychology and philosophy. Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for academic philosophy. I spent a good amount of my life, so far, in academic philosophy.

However, I felt and still feel there's something missing. Some giant elephant in the room that has so far gone largely unnoticed. I don't know what that elephant is. It's very hard to put into words the strange thoughts that make one suspect there even is an elephant. And psychology, though I am not a certified psychologist, does not pay near enough attention to the biggest mystery of all: consciousness. Suffice to say, I am not satisfied. Now, let's catch you up to speed.

I believe the very beginning of my journey into the abyss started in existentialism. Now, multiple diverse figures almost diametrically opposed to each other have been labeled existentialist. But what unites the movement is an emphasis on existence preceding essence. That is, we exist prior to having an essential character. This is in opposition to what we can call essentialism: that we as people have an essential form given to us by God or some form of creation. Essentialism comes from Plato and perhaps earlier and can be seen as everything having essential meaning built into it from the start.

Existentialism flips that on its head. We come into this world before having an essential meaning. The only meaning to our lives is therefore the meaning we give to them. And if we for whatever reason choose to not ascribe meaning to our lives, then life is meaningless. At this point, it should be noted that none of the premises I have put forward here are to be taken either as personal sleights or as matters of fact. The world of philosophy does not judge based on who and what you are personally. If you truly believe that you have an essence given to you by God or the universe at large, that's totally fine.

Existentialism as with all philosophy so far known starts with axioms: fundamental assumptions that are taken for granted in order to follow a train of thought to its conclusion. The fundamental assumption of existentialism is that existence precedes essence, but this is by no means self-evident. Try to play along, if you can, with assumptions that contradict your own beliefs. You might be surprised by what you can learn.

The remarkable thing about the existentialist axioms is that they are universal, and faith-neutral in a sense. No matter your worldview, belief system, or creed, when you examine your life as though you exist prior to having a meaning to your life, things start to get weird, and bizarre, and absurd. Having no meaning to our lives is in some ways the most terrifying idea possible. More terrifying even than death, and death is absolutely frightening.

But, what's the point of getting out of bed in the morning if everything is meaningless? What's the point to anything if everything is meaningless? However, one must be very careful not to draw this conclusion lightly. Our lives could be meaningless in the grand scale of the universe. But ask yourself, why does that matter? And, more importantly, why are you measuring your life in such a way that makes it meaningless?

Friedrich Nietzsche, one of the most prominent existentialist thinkers, had a well-known and oft-misinterpreted quote, "God is dead, and we have killed him" from Thus Spoke Zarathustra and other writings. Popular atheist communities like to incorporate that quote and use Nietzsche as a sort of mascot. Granted, his mustache was beastly. And on the flip side, Christian preachers like to make fun of that quote with cartoons of God with a little thought bubble saying, "Nietzsche is dead".

But that quotation, "God is dead" is not a triumphant sort of remark from Zarathustra and by extension Nietzsche. It's really more of a lament, because Nietzsche understood the dark waters of nihilism that the leaky boat, in his view, of Christianity kept us from. Very few people actually achieve true nihilism, as the excellent movie The Big Lebowski lampooned. In that movie, the airquotes "nihilists" yet complain that life isn't fair, when in reality a nihilist would regard the concept of fairness itself as a pointless endeavor.

And most people are like this. Despite what you might say about the meaninglessness of the universe, we have an innate sense that some things are wrong morally and absolutely. When nihilism has truly taken hold in a person's heart, the results can be monstrous. One need look no further than the horrors in the concentration camps of Nazi Germany for insight into the mind of someone who truly believes that life is meaningless. Nietzsche, despite understanding and in some ways predicting the horrors of the 20th century, also believed that Christianity, and indeed most religious attitudes were sinking ships.

One can understand his position even as a Christian when rampant corruption had been the hallmark of many religious institutions up to that point. Martin Luther was the same way: the founder of the Lutheran church broke away from mainstream Christianity at the time because it was corrupt. People, good people, see these faults, in the Catholic church, in any large institution, and they run. Nietzsche wasn't criticizing the idea of God so much as he was criticizing the people putting words in God's mouth and selling tickets to heaven.

But indeed, though religious zealotry was certainly due for a falling out with the general public, our value systems are yet built on the hallowed grounds of religious belief. Taking away those grounds comes at great risk to everything humanity built on top of them. All of our society relies on people having an innate sense of right and wrong. And without that sense, society comes apart. In order to escape the trap, one needs to rise above both the attitude of blind religious fervor and of nihilism devoid of purpose.

Nietzsche called this attitude the "Ubermensch", or "Overman". Basically, choose meaning despite the universe's indifference. Give your life purpose, utterly personal to you, that not even God could take away. Because we, and we alone as far as we know are gifted with consciousness. That most mysterious of things that we all are intimately acquainted with. We get to choose what to find purposeful and experience it too. How awesome is that? If it turns out that we're nothing more than meat pajamas for a spooky skeleton, we yet have this moment right now where we know that we exist. That, to me, is something remarkable.

I'm Tony Remis, this has been Tony Talks Back.

Hey friends, hope you enjoyed the episode. Feel free to leave a comment or review wherever you're listening. I'd love to hear from ya, on social media or elsewhere. Hit me with your best shot.